A friend in the strangest of places

Guest post by Ellen Fussell

Some people grow up surrounded by close childhood friends. These relationships can last the test of toddlerdom, preteens, puberty and all the tribulations that are associated. When you have a best friend you assume they will always be there for you and that the bond will always remain strong.

I’m not one of those people. I’ve definitely had best friends, one that even started in early childhood and another from high school. A few more from my early twenties and post school era where our common pastimes brought us together. There haven’t been any fallings out, and I still have many of these friends, but those relationships have ebbed and flowed over the years.

As a person who finds comfort and energy from solitude I don’t go looking for friendships and am known to avoid social occasions, where making the first step towards a new relationship might present.

Many of my close friends have been made at work, a manufactured environment where you have a high likelihood of being “grouped” with people who have common interests and plenty of time to spend cooped up in small places.

The only problem with these is that when you leave the workplace you become physically isolated from the people with whom you enjoyed so much time. For me some of these friends currently reside about as geographically far away as you can get while still living on the same planet. No matter how much you try to stay in touch, time zones have a nasty habit of getting in the way.

Anyway, back to the point: it has completely amazed me that the last few years I have made some wonderful friendships in the most surprising places. And the people who I need to thank most for these surprises, have been my children. I have met no less than 5 amazing, fantastic women who I now count as some of my closest friends.  They support me in so many ways and I hope I do the same for them.  I wasn’t in the market for new friends, in fact life has been so busy I would have thought I positively didn’t have the time for them. But nonetheless here I am sporting a clutch of like-minded sidekicks.

Without my children I would undoubtedly have never crossed their paths. If my child hadn’t befriended their child, or if we hadn’t occupied the same place at swimming lessons each week watching our kids swim up and down the pool, I might have completely missed out.

When you are expecting your first child people rejoice in telling you your life will never be the same. They tell you about all the ugly bits of parenthood and in the same breath that they wouldn’t change it for the world. I don’t think I have ever heard someone say your unborn child is likely to introduce you to some of your truest and most valued friends in your lifetime, but I think I’m going to give it a try.

    • Ellen
    • February 2nd, 2012

    thank you Dave 🙂

  1. I always love your insights, Ellen.

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