Dealing with those 4 a.m. thoughts

I was pushed out of bed at 6 a.m. the other day, because my head was filled with a thought train and sometimes the only way I can sort those things out is to write them down.  I was stuck on exactly what some significant people in my life meant to me, beyond just a general sense of “I love you guys”.  So I committed to writing down 5 dot points about what each of them stood for in my life.

It was interesting to observe a few things about both the process and the results:

  • Getting to the 5 dot points was really easy in each case
  • Writing it down gave me a warm feeling of being connected to each of them
  • It was hard to stop at 5 (at one point I had to go to 6)

There was at least one point, in each case, where I wrote something down which I hadn’t noticed about that person before, in an explicit way at least.

About my brilliant son:  “You have an innate sense of honesty and integrity about you which I don’t think is always recognised or appreciated.”

About my beautiful daughter:  “You don’t hold against me the various ways in which I have let you down in your life, and not been the father I could have been.”

About my wonderful wife:  “You have a great capacity to move on from things, let the past be the past, and get on with the present.”

Why does a process like that work?  I heard someone say recently that “where your intention is pointed, your focus goes.”  If you sit down with the intention to express what you love about someone, I suppose that you have a much better prospect of getting a positive result than if you just let things bounce around inside your head.

I write a journal most days, so I guess I am used to putting down things in writing to try and make sense of them.  But anyone can do it.  If you want to find a new depth of feeling about any relationship which is significant to you, try grabbing a pen and a piece of paper, allotting 5 minutes, and committing to write down just a few points about “what you mean to me” or “why I love you”.

Go on, you don’t have to tell them about it.  I don’t know what to do with my lists now.  Just having been able to articulate those things has already given me a different perspective on a couple of conversations I’ve had with the people involved, and I have acted differently as a result.

I’ve toyed with sharing the lists with each of the people I wrote about, but that seems a little soppy.  I guess I’ve outed myself by posting this anyway.  I’m still thinking about it – maybe write it on their next birthday card?  What do you reckon I should do?

Author: David White

    • Ellen
    • July 27th, 2011

    How embarrassing, I do know the difference between to and too 😉

  1. You definitely must must share, life is to short not to appreciate your loved ones and regularly show it to them…

  1. July 27th, 2011

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: